At what age can your child be left home alone?

A timely issue.The coronavirus pandemic has closed most organized children’s activities for this summer. Concurrently, many parents are resuming work schedules away from home.

1. An unforeseen event should never be the reason for a child’ first time home alone. Often it is. Advanced planning and correctly judging your child’s age-appropriate maturity should be the deciding factors, as maturity varies from child to child. There is no magic age when a child suddenly becomes responsible and mature. (Below you will see how widely recommendations from professionals vary.) A good time to start planning for children to be left home alone is when children are about six years old, even if you have no immediate plans to do so.

2. In the US, some states have minimum age laws for leaving children alone. The laws vary from state to state. In the case where an underaged child experiences a serious mishap in your absence, you could be charged with neglect or abandonment, and prosecuted by the authorities. Punishment may include monetary fines and imprisonment. Many other countries have similar laws.

3. Most eleven- or twelve-year olds can stay alone during the day for up to three hours provided it is a safe neighborhood and there are friendly neighbors to contact for assistance. So says the American Academy of Pediatrics. However, some children are able to remain alone at younger ages, and for longer periods in the evening.

4. Many states have guidelines for parents. The guidelines are mostly formulated by government child welfare agencies. Recommendations vary widely, based mainly on the child’s maturity. The consensus: Some 6-9 years olds can be left alone for very short periods. Some children can get off school buses at age nine without an adult present. Some 11-year-olds can supervise younger siblings for several hours.

5. A survey of child mental health experts makes these recommendations:

8 years and under: Should not be left alone for any period of time. This includes leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds and yards.
9 to 10 years: Should not be left alone for more than 1 ½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.
11 to 12 years: May be left alone for up to 3 hours, but not late at night or in circumstances requiring adult supervision.
13 to 15 years: May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.
16 to 17 years: May be left unsupervised for up to two consecutive overnight periods.

6. Children should never be coerced, bribed or otherwise talked into staying alone. Children who show anxiety when left alone are more likely to misinterpret situations that are likely harmless and react irrationally. For example, the telephone rings, the child answers, no one is there, and there is a click as the call is ended. This occurs in TV crime shows. A child already uneasy with being alone may react by running outside, for example.

7. Children’s self-sufficiency may provide clues to their readiness. Does he get himself up in the morning and ready for school with minimal parental involvement? Does she remember to do her homework and reasonable chores by herself? Asking age-appropriate “what if” questions and role-playing scenarios can also give you insights. What if the power goes out? The toilet floods? The dog needs to be walked unexpectedly? Can they use the elevator? Can they have other children visit?

8. Provide children with three telephone numbers to call if a problem arises. Your number may be busy, making children uneasy. Post numbers and telephone-related information near an easily accessible telephone. Ideally, choose persons that your child knows well and is comfortable with, live nearby, and are aware that such calls may be coming.

9. Some children become anxious when home alone. A common reason for their anxiety is that you, their parent, may never show up again. (This explains many cases of school phobia.) Children seem to be reassured when you give them a short summary of your day’s activities. Ideally, take children and show them where you go and what you do when you leave home, where you eat lunch, and, importantly, where you park the car or take a bus or train to return home.

10. Call children to assure yourself that they’re OK and to assure them you’re OK. Calls should become less frequent with time as children adjust to being alone. Frequent calls from children about “nonsense” may indicate that they are still apprehensive alone and you should have a talk with them about their concerns. Call children if you will be delayed returning home; some watch the clock for your return. The best scenario: children become annoyed that you are calling them too often. They are comfortable alone.

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